How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
