I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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