Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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