Small penises have feelings too.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
