Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
