WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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