you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry my hands just texted you
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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