my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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