There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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