o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
the condom got lost in my hair
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize