I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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