Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
