actually, I'm a sock model
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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