she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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