Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
