I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize