Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
