It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
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I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"