Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
