So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes