i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
