and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here