Little spoons don't ask big questions
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.