So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.