whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?