Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
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i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
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IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do