So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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