wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize