respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
