Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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