So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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