I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
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THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
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do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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