I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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