I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize