The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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