3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
