Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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