i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize