Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
