ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We have started to decorate penises.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
