OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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