True but thats because hes a fetus.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize