Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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