just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
