that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize