I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
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