Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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