went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
