I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
