and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
