just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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