Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
