she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
