dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
