He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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