someone threw a dead crab at me
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
