Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
