Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
