I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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