Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
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She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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