i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
