Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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