I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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