Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
