Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.

  (1-209): View more from California

  the house was on fire??

  (209): View more from California

  shit I thought I told you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff. (1-209): the house was on fire?? (209): shit I thought I told you. http://tfl.nu/gdcx
  Replies (16) Good night (1165) Bad night (5095)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance http://tfl.nu/0lmn
  Replies (8) Good night (3220) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers? http://tfl.nu/o0vq
  Replies (16) Good night (865) Bad night (4697)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties http://tfl.nu/4hbe
  Replies (10) Good night (3900) Bad night (1279)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities http://tfl.nu/t8hr
  Replies (7) Good night (5470) Bad night (961)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program" http://tfl.nu/jmw5
  Replies (9) Good night (1533) Bad night (3498)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin... http://tfl.nu/2jr9
  Replies (23) Good night (1099) Bad night (5423)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic http://tfl.nu/5us9
  Replies (3) Good night (4037) Bad night (947)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (252): I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them. http://tfl.nu/kwke
  Replies (12) Good night (5148) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt? http://tfl.nu/o3a9
  Replies (6) Good night (1237) Bad night (2189)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season. http://tfl.nu/9ccu
  Replies (5) Good night (1452) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard. http://tfl.nu/kg7h
  Replies (7) Good night (822) Bad night (2167)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now. http://tfl.nu/n39e
  Replies (4) Good night (704) Bad night (1276)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT http://tfl.nu/q56u
  Replies (6) Good night (684) Bad night (2575)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay. http://tfl.nu/a936
  Replies (1) Good night (232) Bad night (344)

Randomize