Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks

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  (586): There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks http://tfl.nu/aadi
  Replies (16) Good night (2944) Bad night (728)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood

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  (435): Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood http://tfl.nu/j2rr
  Replies (57) Good night (9148) Bad night (1043)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.

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  (651): drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then. http://tfl.nu/hp3p
  Replies (17) Good night (2915) Bad night (782)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?

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  (361): Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home? http://tfl.nu/3vxh
  Replies (2) Good night (2477) Bad night (818)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.

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  (443): Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed. http://tfl.nu/vazj
  Replies (8) Good night (2311) Bad night (1030)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell

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  (870): He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell http://tfl.nu/ywhk
  Replies (8) Good night (678) Bad night (2646)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.

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  (914): Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game. http://tfl.nu/xx77
  Replies (15) Good night (3229) Bad night (693)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf

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  (206): Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf http://tfl.nu/6f6i
  Replies (4) Good night (1172) Bad night (450)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.

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  (603): It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night. http://tfl.nu/ygzt
  Replies (1) Good night (907) Bad night (332)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.

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  (316): You're always so generous when it comes to your dick. http://tfl.nu/6xho
  Replies (3) Good night (1119) Bad night (474)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA

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  (813): IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA http://tfl.nu/d0dd
  Replies (5) Good night (774) Bad night (447)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.

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  (605): I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk. http://tfl.nu/q1g3
  Replies (4) Good night (614) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."

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  (518): There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina." http://tfl.nu/mvmf
  Replies (3) Good night (977) Bad night (247)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.

  (904): View more from Florida

  Which I appreciated.

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  (904): He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me. (904): Which I appreciated. http://tfl.nu/2yf2
  Replies (1) Good night (531) Bad night (247)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.

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  (646): Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini. http://tfl.nu/wt6x
  Replies (3) Good night (687) Bad night (206)

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